"Develop a cheese packaging organization capable of producing desired business results"
This may be may favorite job ad snippet so far. It's real and for the Tilamook creamery out by the coast. In 2006 on a road trip to a wedding in the Seattle area I stopped in for the tour and an an ice cream cone.
If I were to have this job, I would repeatedly speed dial "Wait, wait, don't tell me" every week.