Jobs I could totally fake

So Milo and I have spent a gloriously warm and clear Portland Labor day inside seeking Labor opportunities. Let's skip the fact that I'm not sure I've spent an entire day inside since April and get right to the hottest prospects:

• Synchronized Swimming Coach  - this job is located in the nearby burb of Beaverton, Oregon (I kid you not. Milo is deadly serious about these things)

• Field Artillery Tactical Data System Specialist - "What do you have here, an 8 -week program? which is *perfect* for me." Actually it says 10 weeks now and I'm excluded because of age. For some reason, this one appeared while I searched a 'green' jobs site. Maybe they refer to the uniform color.

• Python Django Developer - I hear this is going to be an awesome Tarantino movie. Not sure whether my role would be in front or behind the camera.

We all know I'm going to end up in either sales or crime or both. The only question is how low the bank balance must go before I entertain those options.