Friday, September 07, 2007

Rules for Dating

Rules for dating:

#1 - You are not allowed to have any rules ;)

#2 - No rhetorical questions. EX: "Is that what you're going to wear?" Just say, "My friends' dinner party is more formal than the outfit you chose. Please change into your blue blazer. You look better in that anyway."

#3 - Money is just money it doesn't mean anything. I'll offer to pay for whatever I suggest we do. If you offer to pay for something, don't be surprised if I let you because I don't like to sit around playing the "who pays" game.

#4 - (advanced stages of dating) Even if requested to do so, I will not cause you any physical pain or allow you to cause me physical pain. Also, I will not be bound nor bind you. (non-violent hair pulling and mark-free biting exempted after trust is established)

#5 - (advanced stages of dating) The conscious me loves sharing the bed; please come over here. The unconscious me is mostly into sleeping and having it's own side of the bed.

#6 - I'll open the door for you if I get there first but I will not expend copious amounts of extra energy to ensure I always get there first. Opening the door for you is neither a sign of chivalrous submission nor male chauvinism; it is only a courtesy.

#7 - If you've had one alcoholic drink in the last hour or three or more total, I will not let you drive.

#7a - If you've had two or more drinks, you're not even getting to first base. I only do well-informed consent. I want the woman to want ME; not to just want SOME.

#8 - There is no implied monogamy before the appearance of a nipple. After such an appearance, parties who wish to remain non-monogomaous must explicitly declare so and then later explicitly declare when they do want to be monogamous.

#9 - All rules may be voided by mutual consent (but seriously, I don't think I'm relenting on anything except #1)

#10 - If we're out at dinner and I'm boring; you can eavesdrop on the table next to us but you have to tell me if there is something interesting going on over there.

#11 - no cutesy-pie nicknames if you can still count the number of dates.

#12 - If it's dark out, I'm walking you to your car.

These are the "rules" but rules are by definition prohibitions and dating shouldn't be about what one is NOT going to do.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Oh My God!